A Statement

06/06/2020

It has been a while since I updated this blog with any new gaming posts, but it hasn't been without reason. Hence why I'm now writing these words as a way to make a statement. On one hand I want to explain my absence, but on the other I feel like it's up to all of us to reinforce the positive change that's happening in the world right now. Even when that change has been sparked by tragedy.

The last few months have been weird for everyone. The entire world has been impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic, which is responsible for a lot of disruption in every corner of the globe. Many have lost their lives, while many others have lost their livelihood, and we have all had our lifestyles changed in one way or another. Thankfully these events happen rarely, but that only speaks to reinforce the magnitude of this pandemic and the pressure it puts on everyone.

I have been self-isolating as much as possible during the pandemic, and much like other people I talk to, I've felt like all this free time should be filled with productivity. Although, much like those I've talked to, this has been anything but a time of productive work. Like many others, I've found this experience to be entirely paralysing and disruptive. Despite managing to stay physically healthy in the face of the pandemic, my mental health has certainly been through the ringer.

 More recently we've seen the horrific events that have taken place in America, stemming from the unjustified murder of George Floyd. This tragedy has sparked a renewed civil rights movement, highlighting the injustices of police brutality, and the callous treatment of minorities not only in America, but all around the world. The protests and riots are ongoing as I write this, but I hope that some kind of positive change will come from all the effort.

Yes - #BlackLivesMatter

I'm not going to go into the "why" of it all, because there are loads of resources out there if you're looking for more information. Suffice to say that I stand with my brothers and sisters all over the world, no matter the colour of their skin, or the size of their bank account. The extreme police brutality we've seen in recent days is unfathomably unjust and I hope that these terrible experiences lead to strong systemic reform, as well as real consequences for those responsible.

As if that's not enough, we are still witnessing the injustices happening in China, as their citizenry continue to be targeted for pro-democratic rhetoric. For more than a year now, the Chinese government has been punishing any pro-democracy protesters and unjustly imprisoning their populace.

Then there's all the stuff that's been happening for even longer, like the horrible cases of war and terrorism in the Middle East and Africa. I feel inadequate when referring to those conflicts with such a wide brush, but I'd feel worse if I didn't mention them at all. These are tragedies that have been happening for even longer than I have been alive.

Ultimately though, what this all adds up to is a world full of humans are either suffering at the hands of injustice, or perpetuating that same injustice for selfish and often economic reasons. It's abhorrent and horrific, and it all seems to be boiling over in the media and online.

Hence why I decided to take a step back from a few things on the internet, as I was already noticing how bad I felt when I woke up every day. Whenever I looked at social media, all I saw were people abusing other people for staying home, while others abused more for going out. Everyone became an expert on the pandemic and appeared to stop listening to the actual experts. Even I had other people having a go at me for choosing to self-isolate and stay home - apparently, I was an idiot who took it all too seriously and the whole thing was a big conspiracy or something.

More recently, each morning I would log onto social media and see raw video footage of police beating the shit out of innocent civilians. I saw a man get tazed for walking down the street. I've seen men and women get beaten with sticks by police who look like they're decked out for war. I've seen more straight up injustice and police brutality on my screen in the last few months than I ever want to see in my lifetime. It literally makes me feel sick to the stomach, and I have been in tears regularly while witnessing these atrocities.

On one hand I love the accountability that exists thanks to everyone carrying a little computer with an HD camera in their pocket. I love that these bastards are being filmed and then shared online so everyone knows what's happening and so that there's no doubt about what is actually going on. I love that there is so much evidence that can be used against the perpetrators of this kind of violence, because I want them all to receive punishment for their egregious crimes. I love it all.

Although, on the other hand I find it all incredibly depressing. I'm quite an emotional person anyway, but I learned a long time ago that I feel much more productive and positive about the world when I don't saturate myself with everything bad that's going on. That is not to say that I support ignorance, as it's important to know that there are evils in the world that need to be actioned, but when it's all that I see, I forget about the good.

The point of this post is simply to convey these things to you, as I feel like there are a few key points that I'd like to share. The first being that you don't have to be productive, just because you have spare time. I was beating myself up for not being very productive while I stayed home during the pandemic, but I realise that I was giving my mental health a bit of respite from the stress of the entire world being smacked in the ass by a virus.

Another point is that it's okay not to absorb every single piece of news media that's out there. You don't need to see every video of police brutality in order to understand and appreciate the injustice of it all and the need for change. I am livid every single day about the abuses of power that happen constantly in the world, but if I spend too much time focusing on it, I end up being useless to everyone. Instead I'd rather be in a better head space where I have the capacity to take action on the small changes I am able to make locally, and immediately.

Trust me, there are an almost infinite amount of ways that we can each help to improve our communities and neighbourhoods. If we all committed to changing something around us for the better, our society would benefit as a whole. I feel like this is a much better way for me to spend my time than soaking in every horrific image on the internet and being powerless to do anything about it.

These are all the reasons why I haven't posted much this year. Plus, given the actual importance of these events, I didn't want to just start posting about video games again without saying something about my absence. I love talking about games and their stories, but at the end of the day this is a hobby I do for my own enjoyment, and it doesn't rate very high on the priority scale.

Having said that though, I am really excited to get writing again and get back to waffling on about narrative pacing and glitchy frame rates. I'm thankful that by stepping away from social media, my mental health has been given the space to recover from the shock and horror of real-world events. Now I'm looking forward to applying that renewed energy into writing more and creating something enjoyable again.

I've already gone on much longer than I planned to with this post, but if I can leave you with anything at all, then it would be this: make some positive change in your own community. It doesn't matter how small that change may be - you could donate a dollar to a charity, or help your elderly neighbour with their housework - every little bit counts. It's only through meaningful actions that we can help the world get better over time, so think globally, but act locally.

The gaming posts will be back soon, but I’ll leave this up for a little while in case anyone is interested. I have a lot of cool games to talk about and I am hoping to write more and more over the coming weeks. I even have a brand-spanking new keyboard to make the whole experience more enjoyable!

Much love to you all - stay safe and don't let the world get you down.