Oh boy oh boy oh boy. What a week it has been to get those creative juices flowing. In a lot of ways it's been a week of ignoring any attempts at creativity and focusing on other things to let it naturally arise. It doesn't always work, but it feels good either way.
In the tiniest of ways I've been experiencing a micro little crisis lately, but I only realised it recently. I think that I've been trying to ignore comparisons instead of actually making peace with them. What I'm referring to is the natural inclination our egos have toward the act of looking at other people and comparing their lives to our own.
Of course, it's futile and irrational to compare yourself with anyone else as we all have unique experiences and lives that offer meaning and value in a myriad of niche ways that can never be quantified. This is why it must be a function of the ego, which loves a bit of drama, so drawing comparisons between people and forming judgements is like crack for drama loving entities.
Like I said, it's only a minor thing and not something that ever really enters into my daily life, but it was thrust to the front of my brain this week when I caught myself doubting everything I did. No matter what I tried to do, or how I thought about approaching some tasks, I doubted every single thing I came up with. Not because I needed to, but because I was convinced that I shouldn't even try, because someone else could do it better and with a better solution than anything I could conjure.
This is needlessly reductive and destructive, so I don't encourage this kind of behaviour for anyone, unless you have the joy of recognising the drama in action. I tend to find that a lot of drama suddenly becomes hilariously futile when you take a step back and actually think about what's going on. We get so caught up on little details and tiny minucia, that it gets very distracting and misleading.
So I guess my point is that we need to all try and remember that most of the little things we do in life are silly and pointless. It doesn't mean we should avoid doing anything meaningless, but it's always amazing how little power something can have over you when you recognise its futility.
Sometimes all we need to feel a little bit more alive, is realise how fundamentally ridiculous existence can be.
To shift awkwardly to more grounded things, I just wanted to add that I constantly feel like adding some more to these posts, but it obviously hasn't happened yet. I only mention it as a way of recognising the difference between the thoughts we have and the actions we take. I don't like talking about things that might happen in the future, but hopefully this little mention will motivate some action.
Right now? Let's talk about the last two doodles in this post, because I like them a lot. The first only revealed itself to me as I was finishing, but it's a direct result of having that Childish Gambino clip for This Is America on my mind. If you're living under a rock you might not have seen it, but the clip has been plastered all over the internet for good reason. I really feel like it's one of the most important contemporary pieces of art in our time.
The other doodle up there wasn't really fuelled by anything in particular, but I genuinely like it. Most of the time I have no opinion at all on the doodles and drawings that come from the ether, but this one made me feel good. I'm not sure if it's the wry disinterested look in those eyes, or the outlandish 80s hair-do, but either way I'm digging that style.
It's nice sometimes to sit back and realise where the thoughts are coming from, or dig on something that appeared out of nothingness. It always surprises me how invigorating and inspiring it can be to draw something that you actually like. Self-deprecation and critique will only get you so far.
Hopefully I'll have some fun stuff to talk about and get stuck into next week, but until then… be cool.