Every now and then I get a bit of feedback about something I've been working on and it makes me think a bit about how others perceive what I only know from the inside. I love getting feedback, but it always amazes me how often the focus is put on the final product instead of the process. It's why I know I'm a bit more obsessed with process than end results, but there are some interesting points to consider.
An easy place to start would be with this very blog and these posts that I make every now and then. Someone recently remarked that I must always have something to say that I want others to hear, which seemed odd when I first heard it. I mean, yeah I tend to have a lot to say about a number of things, but I consider that a part of being a human being as thoughts and opinions are never ending. If I seem like I always have something to say, then I reckon I probably do, which no doubt comes from getting stuck in an internal thought process about anything and everything. I find that with most people, to speak an opinion is to reveal an inner monologue of thought and decision making.
However, I've always believed that despite the fact we're all entitled to our own opinion, it is a privilege to have it heard by someone else. The flip side is that it's not your universal right to have your opinion heard, or even taken seriously. All you can do with an opinion is offer it, so when someone else picks it up and runs with it, that's a very special moment indeed.
Anyway I digress. The original premise that I have something to say that I think others should hear, is sound but ultimately untrue. Mainly because I don't really think anyone else should listen to anything I have to say, let alone want it. I'm not being cute and humble, as I still see value in sharing these things, because it seems logical that if I didn't, I wouldn't bother with it at all. Except the value for me is to fuel the process with a determined result. Once the result has been achieved, there is nothing else to consider.
To put it another way, the ends are here to justify the means. To put it literally: I wanted a reason to motivate myself into a habit of drawing more often than in the binge spurts I used to do. By creating this artificial space that has the requirement of posting something on a regular basis, I find that motivation to focus on the process and justify the means.
Additionally, once these posts are posted they are out of my mind and I'm thinking about what comes next. I'm not interested in trying to get people to read these posts, or even interact in some way by soliciting responses. I looked at the site's analytics a while ago and saw that there were a couple of hundred subscribers to my posts, but that's the last I've seen of it and that number has no doubt dropped significantly over time.
The point is that it's interesting to see how other people see the things that we do in life. Another bit of feedback I received once was a suggestion that I could do a couple of specific things that would help me grow an audience and appeal to more people. The feedback was welcome and there were some good points made, except I'm not interested in growing anything at all.
To shift focus to the posts I write about games; the purpose is not to have loads of people read about my opinions on games. The motivation there is again focused on the process instead of the result. I used to love writing essays when I was at uni, but since then I rarely have the opportunity to form an argument and make a point on paper. The challenge of presenting a thesis and conveying a message is the part that appeals to me, and I believe that with practice, it might even improve my writing skills. When I thought about how I could create a reason to write regular pieces about something, I naturally thought of writing about games. It's as simple as the fact that I love games and I spend most of my free time playing games or discussing games.
It's easy to say that the end result means nothing, but I think that's taking it too far. Of course there's value in having something to show and share with others. The main reason behind posting these posts publicly is to encourage the process of creation that goes into making them. I like having a reason to doodle stupid little doodles and fill up my sketchbooks, and I'm enjoying the process of writing even more than I had first expected.
Again, without getting cute or overly filled with hyperbolic humility, it's important to remember that having an end result gives some meaning to the process, which is often overlooked. While others might focus on it more than I'd like, they're right in thinking that there's a point to it all, but it's far from lofty or ambitious. In fact the main reason I share anything at all is because I think that we gather meaning in our lives from the reality we share with other people.
I'm definitely not the first to say it, but I subscribe to the notion that life is about sharing with others and experiencing everything beautiful together. It's why I love art, as there's a required connection between the artist and the audience that always exists regardless of location or language. There are universal truths that drive us to do the things we do, and for me one of the most powerful motivators is to share life with others.
So when you're looking at the result of my efforts, know that you've probably come to the party a little late. I'm no longer interested in what happens with the results, as results are the end of the road. It's why I often write about process instead of intent, as I'd much rather have you along for the ride while we're able to try and figure something out together.
Once it's done, there's nothing more to say.
The juice is always worth the squeeze when it comes to creativity, but the squeeze is where our attention should lie. We all succumb to the shiny results of our labours far too often that sometimes it helps to remember that the journey is where the real sharing begins.